- Your children are affected by everything that happens in the family. Being honest can be painful. Nevertheless, dishonesty, even with the honorable goal of protecting the children, may be the single biggest mistake you as a parent can now make. There may be nothing more important in their lives than that they continue to trust the two people they love most- the parent who is sick and the parent who will continue to care for them.
- Children are stronger than you think. Your children love you. Because they love you, they can handle what is coming; they are much stronger than you think possible. What we must do now is build on that love and so build that strength.
- Three things to tell your children
- Tell them you are seriously ill.
- Tell them the name of your disease.
- Tell them your best understanding of what may happen.
However grave the illness, hope comes along with every diagnosis. And it is neither wrong nor dishonest to pass this hope along to your children.
" Something to think about now:
All life is terminal. Even if one's own timetable is tragically shortened by a medical diagnosis, the end is not yet. There is still time, time for children and parents who love each other to make the most of. Don't try to shield your children from making the most of that time."
- Explain the disease on the child's level
- Tell them three things, and keep telling them:
- Nothing they did caused the disease
- They can't catch the disease from you
- Who'll take care of their needs, who will do the "Mommy things" or the "Daddy things" now.
- Making time for your kids when you don't have time:
- Set aside a time - ten minutes at night around bedtime and bath-time
- Try to keep doing the family things you all do together: take a bike ride, walk to the park, etc.
- Important warning signs that a child needs help:
- Major changes or disturbance in sleep.
- Major changes or disturbance in eating.
- Appearance of fears that weren't there before.
- Developmental trouble: loss of skills, falling grades, etc.
- The quiet child.
Information taken from the book "How to Help Children Through a Parent's Serious Illness" by Kathleen McCue, M.A., CCLS.